Focusing on Others Instead of Being Self-Absorbed
- I was on Facebook the other day, and I noticed two of my friends weren’t doing very well, but they had completely different perspectives. So, today I want to talk about others-focused, being “others-focused.”
Watch Video, or Read Text Below, Your Choice:
One friend started off by thanking her parents for helping with their children – transporting her kids back and forth, and she was thanking another family member for bringing a meal.
She was thankful for another friend who had gone to the store and brought her something back, and she was just overjoyed and overwhelmed with gratefulness, a grateful heart…
Because she was in bed sick and couldn’t do for herself and other people were helping her, and she was praising them and thanking them, and she had a heart full of gratefulness.
“This much” was on her because…”I’m sick in bed” and most of the post was thanking other people and praising them, and making sure all of the people knew how wonderful they were.
Then I have another friend who had a difficult time. She had a physical challenge, and she has small children.
The first part of her post was “UGH!” She was in pain, she was having a hard time, she wished for help, she wished for this and that. She has some support, a supportive family, but was self-focused.
It was just amazing to me the two different perspectives.
And I noticed on the first scenario, the person that was grateful and thankful, even though she was sick … and she could’ve been terribly sick. She didn’t let us know that. She didn’t let us know that she was having fever and chills, and a temp of 103. She didn’t let us know any details about herself because she was “others-focused.”
That post had forty-some “Likes” and none of which were family. The other post that focused on herself and her problems, and wishing for this and wishing for that, and the sad face and all this… had three “Likes” and two of them were family members.
That got me thinking… I need to be like the first example. I need to be like the person that’s thankful for others! It’s like the glass is half-empty or half-full, Yeah that’s a simple analogy but in life even if we’re sick or going through a challenge, we need to be thankful for what we do have.
If we’re challenged and don’t understand the next step we’re supposed to take in our business, let’s celebrate the past accomplishments. Let’s celebrate what we have learned, what we have been able to do, what we have been able to achieve, and celebrate our successes every single day.
Have a perspective of gratefulness because people are attracted to you – -
if you are thankful, and grateful, and positive.
So, just a real quick tip – something I learned recently – hope it helps. :)
Take Care,
Carol
March 4, 2013 at 12:20 am
Hi Carol,
I love your post. We should be grateful for everything that we have. Even though we are in tough situations right now but somehow, somewhere all these troubles will give us rewards in return… :)
March 4, 2013 at 12:24 am
Hi Cherrylene,
I’m so glad that you liked it. I agree with your positive perspective! Thanks for stopping by to share your thoughts. :)
- Carol
March 4, 2013 at 10:19 am
Hi Carol – A friend told me a story about a friend of theirs that had been feeling depressed without any outward circumstances that would account for the feelings, and was seeking counsel from her pastor.
The pastor was heading out of town for 2 weeks but agreed to meet with her immediately when he returned. In the meantime he asked her to do one thing for someone else every day. After a couple of days she started baking cookies for people in her church that were unable to leave their homes. She did that for the 2 weeks the pastor was gone.
When he returned, he called to ask to set up an appointment with her. Her response was that she didn’t ‘feel’ blue any more, loved what she was doing and didn’t want an appointment.
I think we were designed to be other-focused and when we focus too much on ourselves we stagnate – business, friends, relationships, whatever the situation.
Thank you Carol for reminding me today!
March 4, 2013 at 10:29 am
Hi Gail,
That’s an excellent example of the principle shared in my video – love it!
Thanks for stopping by to share your thoughts. :)
Have a blessed day.
- Carol
March 4, 2013 at 2:33 pm
Excellent post! It really is amazing how much our perspective can influence our reality. It’s really nice to see that your friend poured out love and received it right back. This is a great world we live in, challenges and all.
March 4, 2013 at 3:54 pm
Hi Damaris,
I agree wholeheartedly! :-)
Have a wonderful day.
– Carol
March 4, 2013 at 4:39 pm
AWESOME example Carol!
I just finished up a post along the same lines (about building relationships and seeing how YOU can help first).
Sometimes I’m in awe of how people share things (bitching, complaining, etc.). What’s unfortunate is that most people who do that aren’t really aware of it.
Your post reminded me of an episode of Friends where Joey challenges Phoebe to find an unselfish good deed (because inevitably when we do something nice for others we ALWAYS feel better ourselves)and as hard as she tried, she can’t come up with one.
Gratitude is applicable in ALL that we do.
Loved the post.
Thanks,
Kim
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March 4, 2013 at 4:46 pm
Hi Kim!
I really think you’re right – most of the complainers aren’t aware how sad they sound and appear…
Gratitude is applicable in all that we do – much agreed! :-)
When I was adding my watermark to the video, and heard myself saying “gratefulness”continually, I chuckled at myself knowing that I should have probably said gratitude. :-)
I love making mistakes, and growing from them!
Have a wonderful evening.
– Carol
March 4, 2013 at 4:48 pm
Haha…That’s awesome.
I do stuff like that ALL the time in video! Just keeping it real, right?
Glad to have connected & found your site.
Enjoy your evening too.
Kim
Kim Doyal – The WordPress Chick wants you to check out…Is it time to move on?
March 4, 2013 at 4:53 pm
Yep, and I forced myself to publish it like it was…(balancing the perfectionist tendancies) Ah, it felt good to leave a mistake in…
:)
March 5, 2013 at 3:42 pm
This is such a great post! I do tend to notice on Facebook the ones that complain a lot and the ones that are grateful and take the positive outlook. And the truth is not only does it probably help them, but it also rubs off on others. I try very hard to take the positive view on Facebook and elsewhere because of that, and I think it’s good practice for doing it automatically in my mind too.
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March 5, 2013 at 3:50 pm
Hi Ruth,
Couldn’t agree more. It’s much easier to complain, but being positive and grateful and seeing the blessing in our situation can help us along with others at the same time. :)
Thanks for stopping by to share your thoughts. :)
- Carol